Kickin' His Shins

As I was offering some spiritual direction this week, while we were talking about being angry with God, I was reminded of this vivid image from my childhood.

My grandparents lived in Colorado during most of my childhood and adolesence. We would typically see them three or four times a year, usually traveling out to the beautiful Rocky Mountains, rather than asking them to take a desert pilgrimage to Wester Oklahoma. When I was about four years old, I experienced, what seemed to me at least, a traumatic encounter with my Papaw (I know, we're country bumpkins - but he'll always be my Papaw). One day I did something to deliberately upset my grandfather and then I tried to run away. I guess I've never been that bright, now that I think about it. Anyway, as I ran he reached out to grab me, but the only thing he could grab onto was a tuft of my hair. The force of my running from him nearly pulled me to the ground. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper.

The next day I told my mom, with all the gumption of a four year old, “If Papaw tries to pull my hair again, I’m going to kick him!” Of course, it wasn't his intention to pull my hair, he was just trying to stop me from running away from him. As my Grandfather was talking to my parents, he reached down and put his hand on my head. At that moment I began kicking him with all my might – after a few minutes he looked down and noticed what was going on (he was wearing boots and couldn’t even feel me kicking him.) There I was taking out all my fury on him and he didn’t even notice. Did I mention that I've never been that bright?

Sometimes, when I’m really giving it to God – you know letting Him have all my fury…all the anger that has built up…I think of that picture. I envision Him looking down at me, kicking his shins for all I’m worth, and saying, “Son, what are you doing? Stop kicking me for a minute so we can talk.”

But I think God realizes that sometimes we have to wear ourselves out kickin' His shins before we're really ready to listen. When I'm overwhelmed by injustice...when I'm beaten down by the realities of this imperfect world...when I'm just flat out mad - that image comes to mind and slowly my vision begins to change. After a little bit of kickin' I'm ready to hear the Word. Until next time - Blessings ~ RLS